| (no subject) |
[May. 13th, 2007|06:24 pm] |
im just going to keep reminding myself how obsolite live journal actually is. and how much i hate pop ups.
not that the two have anything in common, besides there dwelling place.
i have a choice looming
i guess you always have choices, but they dont always loom
school is so close to being over, but yet i still have so much crap to do
my social life has been slightly revived now that hells fire burns a little cooler..aka AP exam over.
summer in 8 days and counting.
bring on the :
sleeping till noon
constantly wearing a bathing suit
sneaking out
long drives
pat green
bare feet
river
snow biz
sitting on the roof
and every other glorious activity that comes with summer. |
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| anything too stupid to be said, should be sung. |
[Apr. 28th, 2007|03:05 am] |
| [ | music |
| | rory and lorelei | ] |
tonight someone said something about livejournal, and i had forgotten all about this poor website, now living the cold shadow of its heartless foe, myspace.
Today i encountered a feeling that i feel whenever im with someone i love being with, but then again dont love being with.
Tonight i stuck my last limb out to acheive a goal that ive been pining over for several months. It was a success. Im all giggly and girly, you know the type.
this week has been horrible, i think i used the phrase 'i want to die' more times that i can count. but im deffinately relying on this weekend to save this travesty. Oak Grove's prom is in about 16 hours and instead of beauty sleep , im indulging in wings and gilmore girls. im not proud.
good greif, I have a linger, which is something that is on your mind constantly, not overwhelmingly, but always there, lurking.
this linger has been there since i believe january. january, can you believe that?! the worst month of the whole year and its lurking. Its a curiosity, and a resentful failure all wrapped into one big , nagging package. the big freaking 'what if'!
so on a good note,
ill leave before the trolls come out. |
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| no more wire hangers |
[Feb. 15th, 2007|11:35 pm] |
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we float around for 2 decades thinking we're important
as soon as the sun sets on our virtue
the moon shines on all the truths we never knew.
i have a question, who handles needles around haystacks anyway?!
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| (no subject) |
[Feb. 9th, 2007|09:36 pm] |
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Heaven forbid you end up alone and don't know why |
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| confessions of a teenage drama queen, no not lynsey lohan. |
[Jan. 17th, 2007|10:11 pm] |
i wish i had a dignified reason to feel the way i feel
ive discovered that no matter how many things i "discover" im still going to be just as lost once the epiphany fades. i have made so many desicions, but no matter how many were right and wrong im still where i am. this is very dull and morose, but i feel that way, but who knows how im going to feel in the next 15 mins, i cant keep a constant emotion for very long, they all seem to get me all worked up then leave just as quickly as they came.
maybe i am going crazy. |
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| the freest man |
[Jan. 16th, 2007|09:35 pm] |
he calls so late tonight, it is 4 a.m.
he is drunk, he can't find his apartment
I don't like how it feels when i think of him
all hooded in black, lost and stumbling
the days start to fade out of the frame
like their blurring into to someone else's name
you try your hardest to rewind the tapes
but you're prepared everyday
to make the same mistakes
step out of that life
it's nowhere near your time
just remember you called it all bullshit
well, it is and if you stop giving into it
you can walk away the freest man |
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| youre just dying to try me... |
[Jan. 8th, 2007|09:07 pm] |
I'm a slow motion accident
Lost in coffee rings - and fingerprints
I don't - wanna feel - anything
But i do
And it all comes back to you
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| (no subject) |
[Dec. 30th, 2006|05:00 am] |
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change.
its the only constant in this life.
right now im sitting in bed , its 437 in the morning and im completely overwhelmed by the fact that in 8 months ill be 18.
i only have three semesters left in high school. and im afraid ive moved so far away from my school friends that ill spend my senior year alone.
2007 is about to start and i cant even remember what i did in 2006.
last year at this time i was: single, but talking to several different people. I was completely curious about everything. I was naive and carefree. I had so much to learn and was so willing to follow anyone and anything if it meant having fun.
this past year i had several first, and plenty of lasts.
i broke hearts and had mine broken
i lost friends and got new ones.
i fell in love and fell out.
i met some of the greatest people ever, and the some of the worst.
this year i lived and i know it changed me more than any other year has. I fell out of my life and then got rescued. i learned a lesson, or several lessons that most people dont learn until much later in life.
I directed a band
i set a bunch of stuff on fire
i watched people set stuff on fire
i played tennis match in the finals
i learned how to cook for my adopted family of four.
i gave a speech to a group of old women and another to group of my peers
i stood up for someone
i got in trouble with the law
i got away with it
i did the right thing and got persecuted for it
i stayed out all night
i made out in the rain
i went to California
i got in lots of trouble
i got in a little bit more trouble
i made up for all the trouble i got into
i learned how to be friends with my mom
i learned a lot about people
i learned a lot about myself
i went skinny dipping
i ate at omelete shop more times than anyone should
I found my artist ability
i found my weaknesses
well this is to you if you were a part of my life in 2006, thanks because i know you changed me in some way or another , i was effected by your presence in my life and i hope i made an impact on your life.
happy new year. i hope 2007 is just as good if not better. and with lot less trouble. |
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| because at Christmas, you tell the truth... |
[Dec. 21st, 2006|12:07 pm] |
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okokok
Christmas break is here, the time of year where you get away with sleeping over at someone's house for a week straight, because HEy! its Christmas. and also the time of year where you get to spend frivolous amounts of money on things that will definately end up in your best friends closet. but lets not forget that its also the time of year where everyone seems to be the happiest. i believe that Christmas time is the time of year that everyone wants to have someone and it becomes almost as romantic as valentines day . well besides all that, HAPPY BIRTHDAY JESUS!
i hope that everyone has a great break and a very merry Christmas and a happy new year!
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| (no subject) |
[Dec. 12th, 2006|06:22 pm] |
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the repetition of lies leaves an impression of truth. |
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| sometimes... |
[Dec. 10th, 2006|01:01 am] |
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the hardest thing and the right are the same. |
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| (no subject) |
[Dec. 4th, 2006|10:07 pm] |
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during the day i think that i dont need you, and i start to be so independent. then the end of the day comes and youre all i want, and i realize how silly i am. |
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| (no subject) |
[Nov. 30th, 2006|12:40 am] |
You felt abandoned by me,
I recall the sunshine as you were melting
And though the comedy softens the fall
They still hear us with their ears to the wall. |
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| (no subject) |
[Nov. 27th, 2006|08:32 pm] |
It is not the past few days that have made me feel this way
And it is not the tiny marks of doubt that cover everything I see
It is just the way she looks at me with a love so complete
That I have never seen
And from this grows a strong, undying guilt
The feeling of regret for things I never felt
But oh, I wanted to change and become what she needs
I know what she needs, what I can never be |
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| (no subject) |
[Nov. 24th, 2006|01:54 am] |
well happy thanksgiving , im about to go out into the world of pure insanity which they call "hoover" , the galleria is going to be mass hysteria. blah
i love my family every last weird one of them. |
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| (no subject) |
[Nov. 22nd, 2006|06:49 pm] |
i listened to some music today that woke something up inside of me, something that has been asleep for a long time.
i know you have a heavy heart , i can feel it when we kiss
so many men stronger than me have thrown their backs out trying to lift it.
well it takes one to know one, kid i think you got it bad. |
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| (no subject) |
[Nov. 19th, 2006|08:52 pm] |
i am sick, but its not so bad.
getting lost with you was not so bad either.
im happy, pjs and all. |
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| (no subject) |
[Nov. 14th, 2006|10:30 pm] |
old love is a funny thing, its something that makes you so furious, and yet reminds you of all the good times, it tempts you , and makes you feel ways that you never knew existed.
i feel funny saying that, but its true. Here lately ive been thinking about my life. It doesnt seem to me that ive done a lot, in 17 years i havent accomplished much. Well maybe i have, i just wish i could watch it all. i want to celebrate everything that has happened, i want to talk to all my elementary friends and kids i hung out with in middle school. I want to look at pictures and watch videos of things i did when i was litte. I believe that the key to finding out who you are and what youre life should be can be found through many things, but one of them being your childhood. Children know what its all about. They dont have all this crap. They see things through pure eyes and a pure heart. and i think we can all take a little time out of our own lives to think about what we were like as children.
i was in the bailey school kids book club. my favorite book was Amelia Badelia plays ball.I thought that the ice from our freezer looked like piano keys and played them all the time. i slept with a bunny named "uh-oh". i would spend hours in my room dressing up. I wrote, directed , and starred in plays with all of my church friends on my grannys front porch every summer.
i could go on forever. |
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| (no subject) |
[Nov. 10th, 2006|02:19 am] |
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why is it that when i finally get the chance to sleep, im not able to? i just watched love actually, and i loved it. it was so incrediable. Love is so crazy. Sometimes im so sure i know what it is, and other times i feel like i have no idea. Its so scary yet so comfortable. It makes me so miserable and yet so happy. Im not really sure if its all worth it in the end, but love changes something inside of me, it releases a small portion of me. A portion that flows through my eyes, and my mouth, it flows out of every vein and pore in my body. thick amounts of this love goes directly to another person. For a moment in time i let down all of my judgements and all gaurd. I let myself slink freely into the rhelm of complete naievity and vunerablity. I find myself saying things that surprise me. Why do i continue to venture throught this incredulous thing called love? I guess its for that finished product, the final curtain call should be spent with the perfect supporting actor, instead of some silly understudy. |
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